Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
