I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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