its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
