He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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