Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
