i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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