doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
