its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
