Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
