i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
