The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
