I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
