Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
