Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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