I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
