hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
