Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
