mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
