We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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