yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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