I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
