His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
