Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
