you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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