My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
operation harelip BJ is a go
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize
