I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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