she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
