Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
