it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
