She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
