it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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