well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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