I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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