I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
