shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
