she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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