WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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