I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
