I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
