: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
