I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
