So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
