True but thats because hes a fetus.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So apparently I’m into choking now
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