Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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