I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We just shotgunned beers for America
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
