If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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