Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Houston, we have a blender
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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