i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
