coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
only if we run a train.
done.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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