Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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